As many of you may know Endometriosis keeps us from doing the things we want to do. With extreme pain come anxiety. Yesterday I had to let a good friend down and tell her I couldn't fly across the country to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. I feel like a complete ass hole and no I am for telling her with short notice but I am so overwhelmed with pain in my whole body and so anxious I feel as though my heart my pump out of my chest and my stomach is going to fall out my butt. Making me feel worse yet she said I ruined her wedding, I feel horrible f***ing up her big day but I can hardly function right now. The pain in my back and stomach is so bad that I can't find a comfortable position in bed and am stuck tossing and turning all night. I feel like a complete emotional wreck right now, my mind feeling like it's going a million miles a minute and it won't slow down. Unfortunately I felt that my plate was too full and something needed to be removed. Stress, anxiety and depression is no joke, it can feel so crippling that make even the fun things in life nearly unbearable. How was I to get on a plane alone for the first time when my hand won't stop shaking and my heart is going to explode? I understand it is hard and also very frustrating to deal with someone with chronic illness, we are "flaky", we can't be "normal", or we are "never there for them". But, what needs to be understood is that we do want to be there, be normal and enjoy all the things in life. We are in pain daily and exhausted most of the time and sometimes just flat out can't do it. Knowing your limits and living within them is a hard task and will take time to figure out.
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AuthorMy name is Kristen McRobie, I was diagnosed with Stage 4 Endometriosis when I was 21. Archives
March 2018
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